Have you ever felt angry, frustrated or annoyed at a situation because it’s been outside your control? If you try to control people or situations, the result you’ll achieve is self-damaging. Trying to get people to behave in a way you think they should behave, by trying to control them can be seen as you trying to control that person.
Control issues usually stem from you feeling out of control at some point in your life; to stop people or situations from hurting you, you’ll try and control them as a means to protect yourself.
The difference in your identifying how things are and the way you think they should be can help you to maintain a calm demeanour as well help you cope with the situation or person. The way things are is the way the world works. The way you think they should be in is your perception of goals or the way you want the external world to be. The way the world is can’t be changed however our perception can be changed. Accepting things/people the way they are even if you don’t agree with it/them, is the key to helping you stop trying to control the external world.
